Do you strut like a model?

I USED to live off the validation of others.

When I was a tween, I wanted SO badly to be a model. I remember getting a card in the mail from Barbizon advertising a teen model search and I begged my mom to let me go. 

My mother, knowing very well how sensitive I can be and that I didn't take rejection very well, told me that she didn't think it was a good idea. 

In hindsight, she was totally right and I love her for always doing her absolute best to protect me. 

But of course, being as sensitive and self-critical as I was, I took that in and of itself as a statement that I wasn't "pretty" enough or "skinny" enough to be a model. No mater how many times she told me I was beautiful, I brushed it off... "Family HAS to think that, right?"

Maybe so, but my problem had nothing to do with my mother.

I looked at myself and didn't see my own value. I didn't BELIEVE I was pretty, worthy of attention or even a passing glance by any number of people I thought were "out of my league."  I actively sought out people who worshipped me, gave me attention and validated my existence, no matter the personal cost or where it got me. 

My very first boyfriend in the 4th grade told me he loved me. (adorable, right?) We were outside my house on our bicycles and I demanded to know why. When he started with "you're smart," I cut him off immediately and hotly declared, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY IM PRETTY!"

This continued on for decades. 

I stand before you today a completely different woman.  One that feels powerful and strong, knows her worth and value and will accept no less from anyone else. 

WHY do I share my deepest darkest most vulnerable (and yes, verbose) moments?  Because I have found a POWER in my PURPOSE. Because I know I'm not alone. Because I was able to grow and learn and love myself through personal development, the support of an amazing family that I call #teameagle, and yes, health and fitness. 

I know who I am. I love myself. And I want you to love yourself too. 

Oh yeah, and I strut like a model. 💁

And that's what I do: I'm a life changer. 

Do you also yearn for self-acceptance? Do you want to be the best version of yourself? I can help - and it starts with one step: liking or commenting on this post, or messaging me directly. I got you 😘