To Being Fearless: A Transformation.

"And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction."  Kurt Vonnegut.

As the resident expert in any crowd of all things uncoordinated, I can assure you that I have never accomplished anything without stumbling, bumbling, falling. 

I failed the bar exam, twice.  

I once tripped at volleyball camp over a painted line in a gym. (don't ask me what the hell i was doing at a sports camp in the first place). I fractured my growth plate.

I was repeatedly passed over for promotions for which I was well qualified.

I failed at COUNTLESS gimmicky (and some quasi-legitimate) weight loss pills, diets, fasts, cleanses, fitness fads and wasted gym memberships.

Despite eventually passing the bar, healing, advancing in her career, and collecting achievements under her belt, the girl on the left believed that all there was for her was failure.  Limited self-belief. That she would never succeed at anything. But underneath it all, there was a tiny spark begging to catch fire.  A little girl who KNEW she was born for something more.  Who fought like hell against submitting to the dark, but lost the battle much of the time.

When I DECIDED I was going to give a go at one last resolution to get my body and health together, it was January 2014. I was 32 years old. I tripped. A lot.  It was a slow, quiet, painful momentum. My former sardonic, persistent, defeatist attitude became engulfed by possibility. I ceased following everything I was taught I was SUPPOSED to and started listening to what FELT right.  I took a leap, challenged myself, and began to value and respect all that I am.  Yes, these past two years have been a bumpy fucking ride.  

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Of all the wrong turns I've taken, this one is the best by far.  The woman on the right has the inner strength to tear down and rebuild her own muscles. She has determination, she has vision, she has belief, she has hope.  She's going somewhere and good luck to anyone or anything who will get in her way. 

This is a celebration of all the badass women who've gone before me, and all those who will come after me.  All I can do is keep the fire going in myself, light a spark in others, and give it enough breath to keep it going, until as many women as I can possibly touch with my story catch fire too.  Today, this is how I'm fearless. I am transformed.