Tales From An Identity Crisis

Because you are human, you will continue to make mistakes. 

Thinking that you should live a life free from error is a false construct designed by society and amplified by your ego. 

Your "failures" are a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy for other people in their weakness. 

And when you learn from them, share it. 

We gain strength, wisdom and insight from seeing each other grow, connecting with each other's stories, and loving each other through it all. 

This past weekend I was on a leadership retreat where we spent a LOT of time digging deep into who we really are and where our fears lie. 

For me, the big ugly cry came without warning, and unceasingly, when we started talking about identity. We were assigned a task of joining up with a partner, writing out our identity statement and OWNING it with boldness. What I didn't realize was that I had SO MUCH FEAR around this issue. It was a lightening rod for me. And thank GOD that I have such an amazing support system...that not only held my hand and let me sob, but also pushed me through it. 

So why did I get so upset? I seem pretty bold, sure of who I am and confident, right? That's true, most of the time. But sometimes, I don't believe in myself. Because I've failed. I've defined my life in strict terms of success, the same way society forces us into a box where perfection is the only successful outcome. Every word I uttered "wrong" got cataloged and agonizingly reviewed. Every "wrong" action wrong I took was a punch in my gut for years to come. I spent my whole life chasing perfection to feel accomplished. To feel loved. To feel whole.

But here's the thing - it's all a myth. There is no perfection. There's only love. And you don't earn it by being perfect. You earn it by having an open heart. By sharing and giving, and by living your life with passion and purpose. 

I always felt so intimidated by the concept of CLAIMING my purpose in life - mostly because I have so many skills and talents - afraid that I could never be the BEST at any of them. I'm a lawyer, a writer, a singer, a lover, a friend, a coach, a chef, a fighter, a thinker. I'm dynamic. I'm creative. I'm driven.

None of these facets of my identity are mutually exclusive. What I've learned is I don't have to choose just one. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. And if I drop one to pick up another, it doesn't make me less of a "success."

So what do they all have in common? What is the common thread among them all? I do them in LOVE. And that gives me freedom. And that's my purpose- to share love, to give love, to express love.  To empower people to love themselves as they are, and to share that love with each other. 

In reflecting on all of this, I think I finally came up with my identity statement. And I'm not afraid to share it:

I AM an agent of free love. I empower people to embrace their true selves, embolden them to shine their love on the world, and equip them to help others do the same. 

We are all uniquely made. We are all beautiful. And we all have our own gifts to offer. What's yours?